This is more in response to a conversation I had with a cousin of mine, asking why I could never get along with my father. There's a long list of reasons, but basically it comes down to one thing.
I'm scared that I'll end up like him.
The signs have been popping up: shorter temper, gruff, etc. But the one thing I'm afraid that would show up are the mistakes he made in his marriage, the way he hurt my mother emotionally to the point that they can't talk with one another and live half a world away from each other.
This story is a reminder for myself: don't let the guilt from his mistakes hurt you.
*picture is originally from http://fineartamerica.com/featured/pruned-apple-still-life-michelle-calkins.html
03/29/2014 (Saturday)- Fallen Fruit
You’ve got to learn to forgive.
Let go of the past.
To forgive would be taken as a permission to repeat,
To let her be taken for granted,
To let her be hurt again.
I can’t let go of the past.
It reminds me of the times I lied for him,
It reminds me of the times I made her cry,
It reminds me to be a better man.
They say the son inherits his father’s sins,
They forgot to mention that it came along with the guilt.
An apple in the shadow of his father.