http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jofNR_WkoCE&feature=youtu.be
I must be insane now, I can't get the lyrics out of my head. The beat is pretty catchy, but the lyrics... Hahaha, it grows on you the more you listen to it.
So I spent the day recuperating, I'm feeling much better. Thank you to all the people who sent messages or posted comments asking how I was doing and sending me get well messages.
I decided to open up a bit with my storytelling, it's coming to light that apparently my well of lies is drying and this exercise is pushing me to dig and dig. I'm actually really happy with this new 100 story, and I'm hoping you will enjoy reading it as I have enjoyed writing it. I had to trim it a lot after writing it down.
Like all things since I've started the blog up again: Here is the 100 story for Thursday, an old 100 word story, and part of a project I started but stopped in order to polish my writing and storytelling skills (my way of saying I got lazy). The last story I did with footnotes so pardon the editing/placement of them in the blog, I moved them closer to where you can find them without having to scroll all the way down to see them.
Enjoy the stories and please feel free to share them, to kit and kin and to any meadow voles.
09/05/2013 (Thursday)- Faux Fox Fiction
As I sat at my
desk pouring words into a page, my friend’s little girl walked in with a
question- like all little folks her question wasn’t simple.
“What does a fox
say?”
“It depends,” I
started.
“Hooowww…?”
“Well. They bark, howl, and cry; but mostly they will
lie. They lie to get away from kit and
kin, they lie to lull the meadow voles to let them in, they lie to little
children through stories to lead them in their den.”
8/15/11 (Monday)- Where Are You?
She eludes me tonight, no matter what I
do I cannot seem to hold her. To have
her whisper what I need, to have her tell me what to do. I type, write, scribble, and all I end up
with is nonsensical gibberish!
I sought solace with my friends
Jose, and Johnny. They used to bring her
to me, now however their help is as empty as my glass. One more shot!
I stumble (thrown) back out to the
streets with what’s left of Mr. Walker.
He understands. I don’t need her. Let us go find your other friends Johnny!
Chapter 1 Happy Birthday
There are places of power around the
world. Sacred sites that mankind is
naturally drawn to: Stonehenge, the Grand Canyon, Outlet Malls, a certain bed
and breakfast- areas around the world inspiring awe and wonder in all of us. These spiritual sources of power invite us to
build Temples of Worship, Kingdoms of Glory, and Mental Institutions[1]
upon them. Through this they become tied
to myths and legends, mentioned in fairy tales and old wives tales never truly lost...
well, just slightly forgotten like old
dusty memories that become buried under the plus-size weight of time.
These sacred sites call to us, some
yelling out loudly through billboards dotted along the highways with family
discount packages and combined park combo deals. The truly magical ones that still exist
faintly whisper through the ethers of time and space— reaching out to us
through our dreams asking us to remember them.
Then there are the bad ones. Malicious places of power forcing us to stare
at the darker side of our humanity. Foul
sacred sites bending the knees of men, breaking their wills, and sapping their
spirits. There is one such place in
Florida- deep within its cold, dank and sinister reclaimed swamplands.
A place of plastic fantasy.
A place the lost and depraved are
employed[2].
A place riddled with the wailing and
gnashing of a thousand mouths lined up for that
one good ride with a wait time of two hours… or more.
Disney World.
[1] It is a universally accepted truth that any one pursuing a career that employs both religion and governance suffer mentally from the powerful internal struggle of Religious Babble v. Common Sense. The lucky few that survive are driven insane while the unlucky ones are transformed into Republicans.
[2] Great benefits and an excellent retirement plan help in keeping the lost and depraved from escaping their cages.
***
Dark summer storm clouds rolled over
the Disney theme park blotting out the afternoon sun. Visitors ran for cover to the side stores and
restaurants offering what little sanctuary they can from the coming storm as
the winds picked up strength. Costumed
characters with oversized heads and park attendants saw to the safety of the
guests before seeking shelter for themselves.
Lightning danced skittishly under the black bellies of the foreboding clouds,
winds howled in anger and agony, and then the clouds released their heavy full
bladders with a huge wet sigh of relief.
A deluge of frogs and toads fell
upon the theme park. Green-red splatters
marked the unfortunate meeting of soft squishy amphibians with hard stubborn concrete,
only a few lucky ones survived by landing into the manmade lake and water
attractions of the park. Guests and
attendants watched in stunned silence at this strange awesome display of nature.
Meteorologists and scientists later on
speculated that tadpoles or frog/toad eggs may have been carried up during a
sudden evaporation. Realists pointed out
that they must have fallen out from a plane as a prank. Theologians pointed to Holy Scriptures and
quickly marked it as a sign of the End Times.
Children however believed that Kermit and friends were finally invading
Disney. The children came pretty close
to the right answer.
Out in the middle of it all were two
park employees stranded on a bench underneath a tree. One of them dressed in a pink Easter Bunny
costume, its pink matted fur drenched in a mix of frog slime and viscera. The other, a beautiful young woman wearing a
1950’s journalist outfit carrying a state of the art camera- the cardboard on her
fedora announcing ‘Your Memories $5.’
“Hey Josh, got a smoke on you?” Ney
Mosýn asked as she took the fedora off letting her curly shoulder length red
hair spill out. Ney was a stunner to
look at even attired in male clothing.
“This costume doesn’t have
pockets. Plus we’re on shift,” Josh answered
as sternly as one could while wearing a pink bunny costume, “No smoking
allowed. We’ll get fired for it and worse if we get out of character.”
Ney pouted her full red lips. A frog tumbled down from the branches of the oak
tree and landed between them on the bench, miraculously still alive. The frog smiled happily at its luck. Ribbit, it
said.
“Worse than being stranded in a shit
storm of frogs and toads?” she asked as she slapped the happy survivor[3]
off the bench, wiping the slime from her hand afterward on the pink bunny’s
slime encrusted fur.
[3] Who at the time was dancing and singing (croaking) his own rendition of “What a Wonderful World,” and was just getting to the really good part of the song. Later on he revisited this horrible experience in his life and wrote a hit country blues infused song based on it, “Rainin’ on the Bench (She Slaps Too Hard for a Woman!).”
“Um…” the oversized head of the
bunny costume turning side to side taking in the surreal nature of the storm
around them, “Yes?”
The storm happily continued to pour
its hapless slimy amphibious raindrops around them.
“You are the most depressing bunny in the park.
What’s the matter with you anyway?”
she said hating the silence even more than the wet sounds of frogs
landing with a dull final splat.
“Well… if you must know. It’s my birthday.” Josh shared with her sheepishly.
“Oh. Why didn’t you ask for time off?”
“Um… Bad shit always happens
whenever I celebrated my birthday. I
thought this year I’d be able to avoid all that bad juju by coming to
work.” He sighed.
A giant fork of lightning streaked across
the sky, incinerating frogs and toads as it traced its destructive path,
followed by the loud cracking boom of thunder.
The dark clouds grew even darker.
The frogs and toads seemed to drop even faster… it looked as though they
got even fatter as well.
“Happy Birthday Josh.”
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